"Grandmother stuck in bathtub for five days / After her rescue, 75-year-old celebrates with Coke and a cigarette"
I worked with the elderly for years and I realize this isn't funny... but I am totally picturing an old lady who told her whole family to go to hell when they said that, perhaps she ought to consider getting in home help. I mean, who else would ask for a smoke and a Coke after being lifted from a bathtub where they've been sitting for 5 days? Certainly not I!
To make it a little more funny and to make me a little less evil for laughing... this wasn't even the first time she'd been stuck in the tub. Ha. Stubborn woman!
Read all about it here.